Thursday, December 19, 2013

This Book Room: Love and Respect in the Family

Children need love. Parents need respect.

It is as simple and complex as that!

When frustrated with an unresponsive child, a parent doesn't declare, "You don't love me." Instead the parent asserts, "You are being disrespectful right now." A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts. When upset a child does not whine, "You don't respect me." Instead, a child pouts, "You don't love me." A child needs to feel loved, especially during disputes.

But here's the rub: An unloved child (or teen) negatively reacts in a way that feels disrespectful to a parent. A disrespected parent negatively reacts in a way that feels unloving to the child. This dynamic gives birth to the FAMILY CRAZY CYCLE.

So how is one to break out of this cycle? Best-selling author Emerson Eggerichs has studied the family dynamic for more than 30 years, having his Ph.D. in Child and Family Ecology. As a senior pastor for nearly two decades, Eggerichs builds on a foundation of strong biblical principles, walking the reader through an entirely new way to approach the family dynamic. For instance, God reveals ways to defuse the craziness with our children from preschooler to teen, plus how to motivate them to obey and how to deal with them when they don't. In the Bible, God has spoken specifically to parents on how to parent. This book is about that revelation. 

My thoughts: Jason and I both read Love and Respect years ago and it is on my re-read list (maybe in 2014?). We also have the workbook we have yet to complete. Anyway, I really recommend that book for all married couples. 

This book is a fantastic resource for parents. It is full of practical advice. I like that it not only delves into the why of things: why children crave love, why parents need respect, but it also breaks down how to love your children well and what you can do to help your children learn to respect you. 

The book is very much a Christ-centered book, but please don't shy away from this if you're not living your life for Christ. Even if you're not a Christian, this book is just a plain good resource for how to love your children well. I do like that Scripture is peppered throughout, giving what the author suggests real credibility. This book has earned a permanent spot on my bookshelf, and I plan to read it again and again as my Bug continues to grow and assert herself in new, and what I'm sure will be often scary, ways. 

Thanks to for providing a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

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