Friday, November 29, 2013

A List

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I belong to a terrific Lutheran church in my hometown. My husband sings in the worship team and volunteers when he can to help maintain the property. I co-lead the mama group with three other wonderful mamas and volunteer when I can to help with fundraising efforts to build a new and larger church.

There are so many young families at our church. It actually takes my breath away when I reflect on how many mamas, daddies and little ones there are. I could not name them all if I tried. I actually don't even know all of their names!

When I was pregnant with Bug, I watched the mamas interact with their littles in an effort to learn anything at all about what would soon be my life. Honestly, these women taught me much of what I know.

When Bug was born, I took seven weeks off from work to be with her. Then, I was back at work. Jason was working 50 hours a week. I was working 40 hours a week. And we took care of Bug all by ourselves.

It was anything but easy.

It was a careful juggle of time and energy. We had a pretty good schedule beforehand and were very productive. My career was all about productivity, so honestly, productivity was an art form for me and becoming and being a master of it came easily to me.

This was incredibly useful for our family when we were working more than full time and caring for our newborn without any outside help. I don't know how much I would recommend doing this, I do have to say. I certainly wouldn't want to do it again in the future.

But we did it. To be honest, we actually excelled at it. Instead of becoming weary, I powered through. Instead of wanting to give up, I leaned in and gave motherhood, being a wife, my home and my career everything I had in me.

The result? Everyone believed I was Superwoman.

So much so that the other leaders of the mama's group at church asked me to lead the group this coming January and share how I manage my time.

This is an incredible honor to be asked to speak with the group. I am both terrified (I'm not such a big fan of public speaking) and thrilled.

In thinking about our upcoming meeting and all I desire to share with our group at church, I've come to realize there's a lot of good things I don't do. In short, I really and truly am not Superwoman. I'm so far from it, the line is a dot to me (Friends, anyone?). Your list will differ from my list, but I hope this dispels the belief any of you dear readers have that I'm a rock star. I'm not. I'm a wife, a mama, and a sinner saved by grace. That last part? If I'm a rock star, it's only because of that. Nothing else.

What I Don't Do

I don't shave every day. Sometimes, I don't even shave every week.

I don't put away my husband's clean laundry.

I don't grind my own flours.

I don't deep clean the house on a regular basis.

I don't make our bed.

I don't have a very stylish wardrobe.

I don't wear makeup.

I don't raise chickens, cows or any other livestock.

I don't own a home, so I get to skip all the joys of home ownership (like learning how to be a plumber and electrician and mowing the lawn).

I don't volunteer outside of opportunities within our church.

These are things that some of you do in your day-to-day life. And they are all really great things. If these are things you do, that's great. Some of these things don't matter much to me. I honestly don't care if our bed is made every day. I straighten out the sheets and blankets before bed because I can't stand the feel of wrinkles on me. Other than that, I'm pretty good.

I focus my energy and time on the things I can do well and the things that benefit my family and home in a real way that matters to us. My husband doesn't care if I shave often or wear makeup, but he definitely cares if I shower and brush my teeth every day. This works well for me because I care about showering and brushing but not shaving and wearing makeup.

My husband doesn't care if the house is perfectly scrubbed, but he does care if clutter is around. I declutter the house every day (sometimes multiple times) so it's always generally picked up.

For all the good things I do, there are many good things I don't do. Next time you're admiring someone and think they've got it all together and they do everything from scratch and they're perfectly put together... just know I've got hairy armpits and an un-made bed at home. Superwoman, I am not.

Hairy lady? That I definitely am.

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